OK, that’s it - I’m throwing the challenge flag on anyone who thinks the Pats are gonna lose to the Colts this Sunday, or believes that the defense won’t improve and that there’s no way to turn things around.

Oh, and yes - I, like you, could watch this friggin’ GIF 10,000 times in a row. It’s endless Belichickian joy. Check out Deadspin’s weekly NFL GIFeteria for a larger version.

ANYHOO - yeah, I’m on board with the idea that the Pats are going to improve. Really, I am. Look, they can’t get much worse on D at times, right? So there’s that. Plus we had some other factors like the bye week rust, DOS (division opponent syndrome), and just some shit game blues going about on the defense. And hey, maybe that other Fitzy guy, alongside his two talented backs, played really well Sunday, right up to the point where he remembered he’s Ryan Fitzpatrick and threw the game-sealing pick to McCourty. Which you get the feeling Belichick believes lesser QBs will do at times. Some have, and some haven’t (*cough, Russell Wilson, damnit!*). But with the acquisition of Aqib Talib, who is far from Revis 2.0 or a game-saver by any stretch, but is competent enough to play the position better than 100% of the cornerbacks on the roster, and a stretch of opponents with less offensive talent, and familiarity, than Buffalo, I see the Pats cranking it up and getting after some people on defense. Like they did against St. Louis in London.

Yes, you read that fahkin’ right; THE PATS WILL IMPROVE ON DEFENSE AND GET AFTER PEOPLE AND STOP SHITTING DOWN THEIR OWN LEG AND ACTUALLY PLAY RESPECTABLELY IF NOT INTENSELY VERY FRGGIN SOON AND CEASE BEING THE HALFASS HALF OF THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS.

We all know that the Pats trend upward defensively in the 2nd half. Or so they should, as history indicates. There’s the aforementioned addition of Talib-an (too soon?), plus a number of guys getting healthy (Chung) who need to get their shit straight and play some hellified football if they have any ambitions of getting a contract next year, or back to The Big Game this year. Add in the current players becoming more familiar with the schemes, and a tough level of competition, which should make these humps raise their game. And well, yeah. I’m obviously selling myself on the idea that this Pats D will quit sucking itself off, and Belichick will tell the coordinators to take their training wheels and rubber undies off and let them play like big boys and make some plays. Otherwise top-shelf QBs like Andrew Luck will make further mockery of our Dairy Queen-soft secondary. And letting the likely RoY come in here and demonstrate how good he is, and possibly show up TFB in their first meeting would be atrocious. Unthinkable. Like Howard the Duck terrible.

So here’s to hoping Bill Parcells is right. That the 2012 Pats are better than 2011, and that they start friggin playing like they want to live up to his words. The AFC is, much like your mom’s bedroom door after a bottle of Boone Farm’s, WIDE FRIGGIN OPEN. And if the Pats D could live up to half our expectations…half our hopes…or just be even half as good as the O…then maybe, just maybe, this team will realize their potential and at least not be the #1 reason why hundreds rush to the cardiac emergency unit at Mass General every Sunday evening.

That and I’m out of smartass lines to hurl at the D, so get your heads outta your asses, play some D, NO SUCK VERSUS LUCK, and let’s go Pats!

patspropaganda:

Can someone put a javelin in his hands please?